Christmas – Sunday at 10 O'clock

Lower Hutt

“What’s the buzz tell me what’s a-happening, what’s the buzz tell me what’s a-happening, what’s the buzz tell me what’s a-happe….”, Ok, so some of you may remember the 1973 Jesus Christ Superstar hit musical (for the record Rachael wasn’t born), but that’s not the ‘buzz’ we are blogging about this week. Neither are we referring to the delicious buzz of an alcohol fueled champagne breakfast.

This weeks ‘buzz’ is all about the aptly named Buzz Cafe in central Lower Hutt. A hive of industry and noise when we arrived this morning, there were Christmas carols blasting from hidden speakers (thank you December), a table of board games and a welcome from the owner at the front door.

Buzz cafe has been around for decades, and has frequented various locations around the central Hutt area. This current venue has a distinct industrial feel, and a bustling, upbeat atmosphere.

We are quickly seated, and drinks orders are taken. English breakfast tea for two and a banana milkshake for Harry.

There is plenty to choose from on the menu – and it seems even the most fussy of eaters (Rachael) can find something to silence the hunger.

We were impressed with the speed our drinks and food arrive, considering the time of day and that the cafe was almost packed.

Bacon and eggs (that ole chestnut again), eggs with spicy sausage and waffles with fried chicken (only a 17 year old boy could manage that on a Sunday morning).

As a side note:

Our good friend Di had recommended Zany Zeus in Moera as a cafe destination, and we had planned to go there last week. If you are a regular reader, you will be aware we were rained in and people more sensible than us had made the call that the general public should not travel unless urgent. (How can cake NOT be urgent?) We tried again this week, and we were delighted to find a park right outside the door.

Once inside we discovered there was no actual menu, and only cabinet cakes and cheese on offer. I know – most of you will be asking the same question as Rachael – what’s the problem here? We decided to purchase a cake each, then move onto a cafe with a breakfast menu. We would highly recommend Zany Zeus for cake and coffee, but not a meal as such.

According to the New Zealand Herald (so it must be true), Scarlett Johnasson described the Zany Zeus chocolate cake as ‘the best in the World’. Scarlett’s daughter (Rose Dorothy) has almost the same name as Rachael’s Nana (Dorothy), so we are going to count that as six degrees of separation and believe every word she says!

Here are a few pics to tempt the taste buds.

For the record we googled the lyrics to the song “What’s the buzz” to find out what the next line was. It pretty much said “What’s the buzz tell me what’s a-happening” (repeat many times). Pretty much sums up our work day really- repeat many times! Thank goodness for weekend cafe reviews we reckon!

OVERALL SCORE: 4 stars

Lambton Quay, Wellington CBD

As we slide into this Sunday with both the 1 December, and the beginning of the silly season colliding at the same time, we decided to outsmart the helpful folk who decided it would be a good idea to kick off the first of the month with the annual Upper Hutt Christmas Parade. Having seen the road closure signs earlier in the week, we agreed to avoid the Upper Hutt area for this review, and head in the opposite direction. Had we known how the day was about to unfold, watching grown men prance the main street wearing tights, with giant sacks (of lollies!!) may have been a better option!

As usual, Saturday night had rolled around and conversation turned to where to brunch the following day. We agreed up until this weekend we have carefully avoided the Wellington CBD, but maybe now we were up for the challenge. It was decided that we would get up early, catch the train into town and walk along Lambton Quay, stopping at a suitable place to eat.

In typical Kneepkens fashion, nothing ever goes to plan, and the first hurdle was the pounding rain lashing our windows when we woke up. Rachael, who had already planned her ‘Wellington outfit’, which included silver glitter sandals was not keen to continue the previous nights arrangements. Andre, however, making a quick wardrobe adjustment to his outfit (removed his socks and just wore the jandals) deciding to press on and give it a go anyway.

There was a slight flurry as we realised we would need cash to catch the train ($15 per adult return – Silverstream to Wellington Station), we were also not too clued up about where the nearest money machine is located (some might say we are just not clued up). We hoped our local petrol station might have a machine, and as luck would have it…it didn’t! Forced to make a purchase in order to withdraw some cash it was a toss up between caramel bliss balls or a steak and cheese pie. Rachael was tasked with this small job, so cherry flavoured lip gloss it was!

Ok… you’re probably thinking four paragraphs in and we still haven’t hit the cafe of choice. That would be because as we waited on the platform at Silverstream Station we were informed by a local in the know, that there was actually a train replacement bus, and we would need to go across the road and wait. As we watched a bus hurtling around the corner, heading towards us, our jaws slackened in shock. There is nothing quite like a neon sign claiming ‘Choo choo, I’m a train’ to really make you question the intelligence of the human race! Despite our reservations of stepping on a train dressed in as bus, we did, against better judgement. If you know us well, you will know Andre was happy with this arrangement, as it meant free parking, and Rachael was not, as it meant a 45 minute ride in a sealed container of germs.

The first cafe we came across on Lambton Quay (about a five minute walk from the station), was Astoria. We have been there a couple of times before and Andre is pretty partial to their black pudding dish. As we were starving, and Andre was claiming his stomach was eating itself to survive, we decided to stop here and refuel.

We were greeted at the door by a friendly waitress (please wait to be seated), and guided to a table for two (the guiding was needed as the lighting is so low it is almost a health and safety risk). We were handed a menu on a clipboard, so old and dirty it might as well have been a public library book. The tired silk flower and wobbly table leg were clearly early indicators that this previously well respected establishment has seriously gone downhill.

We were a little curious about the giant coffee machine plonked in the middle of the room, and wondered if it was possibly a strategic move to replace the lack of paying patrons?

The menu was limited and the cabinet food even more limited-er (not a real word but couldn’t think of a better one).
The best way to describe the cabinet food is to show you the pic (below).

We decided the food would most definitely be better than the decor, but interestingly it turned out to be equally as bland. To be fair, Andre’s garlic mushrooms with poached egg on ciabatta was adequate (we know he’s a soft marker) but Rachael’s bacon and eggs were less desirable (perhaps she should have egg-nored them and chosen something else).

Another couple of interesting points – our pot of tea took almost 15 minutes to arrive, and was delivered well after the food had arrived. Rachael’s meal arrived several minutes before Andre’s, so if you’re old school and waiting for the other person to start eating, you’re going to have to weigh up whether cold eggs is worse that bad manners – we’re not eggs-aggerating!

If you’re planning to come to Astoria to eat your feelings, or indulge in a decent sweet treat…don’t!

About the only thing going for this cafe at the moment is that they serve alcoholic drinks for breakfast, and that it is right next door to David Jones, where you swap your Astoria sized disappointment for a decent slice of carrot cake.

OVERALL SCORE: 2 stars